9:30 PM – October 8, 2015
Too old to be a child, too young to be an adult.
I sat in the middle of the bathtub, letting the water from above shower my head and my back.
I just sat there thinking… I remembered Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not be faint.
Then I began to pray, I said, “God, I feel like a bird locked in a cage. Like my wings are bound and clipped. God, give me wings! I want to fly, I want to see the expanse of the earth below me. Take me to new heights. Sustain my wings with your hand. I want to fly with wings like eagles!”
Then I remembered the cave window, and the tight space I had to go through just before I was welcomed by the great expanse of the cave’s mouth.The beauty of the nature below looked like a painting as I remembered it in my mind’s eye, and I said to God, “If I had wings I would have flown out.”
Then something in my thoughts said, “no you wouldn’t. You’d be too afraid.”
And I said, “Lord, give me wings to fly because you have not given me the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.”
Then I said, “But God, I don’t want to fly alone. If you must, teach me how to fly first, but allow me to fly with my husband, with my lovebird.
My eyes were closed, and I wept as the water from above showered my bare back. I felt as if the room was spinning, but when I opened my eyes, I felt a surreal kind of peace.
I knew God heard my prayer and that he would give me wings.