Dance With Me

Last night I had a beautiful dream that I’m really excited to share with you! It’s short and sweet but very lovely.

I dreamt that I was in my kitchen, and I was facing the wall where the clock hangs. I don’t really remember what I was doing in the kitchen, but I know that I was remembering the Word of God in my heart.

In front of me was a white card floating in the air with my name on in lowercase letters: rose of sharon (which means, the church or bride of Christ).

Then behind the card was a large, white cloud that formed into a man. It was Jesus Christ.

He stretched out his hand to me, and said, “It is I. The God that you serve.”

I took his hand and we shared a secret! Then we danced in the kitchen, I gave him a hug, and the dream ended.

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Photo by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash.

The life of a Christian is a life filled with love for servitude

I’ve taken some time off from this blog to spend time with the Lord. I didn’t want to write anything for some time because it’s his blog and I want what I write to be special to you.

In that time I’ve learned a lot of about the gospel, and how lovely it is to remember God’s grace each and every day. The core of this post is about love, and what it means to live in God’s love.

You can take your time reading this post, to learn the scriptures given. I find it good to meditate on the Word and let the Holy Spirit help me grow in the Word as I learn these scriptures by heart.

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Photo by Jussara Romão on Unslpash.

Our love comes from the source, God the Father! We as Christians have the good news of the gospel to live by and share with others. John 3:16.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

I chewed on this for a while and realized that God meets us half way. He loves us. So he gave us his Son. If we believe that, we will not perish, but have eternal life. It’s that easy! Just believe.

Another scripture is 1 John 4:9-10.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Remember, we are saved by grace, not by works. That is by faith. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

I also learned and began to store this in my heart: Christ’s righteousness is my righteousness. (Romans 3:21-24, Philippians 3:8-9)

It doesn’t matter what I do, or how much I do to win God’s love because I can’t. The only way I have wholeness and satisfaction in my heart is by believing that what Jesus did on the cross and rising the third day, is enough for me in God’s eyes. I’m his child.

When I mess up, I ask God for forgiveness.

The bible says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (emphasis added).

But it’s important to know that we must repent, that means to stop doing the sins that we were doing before; to live a life holy to God. Keep your eyes on Jesus! (Hebrews 12:1-3)

In light of God’s forgiveness, I also love to remember this scripture: Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Psalm 32:1.

Jesus loves you! Remember that every day. God is good, and his Word is good.

In the time that I spent with the Lord, I learned and meditated on this Word about his characteristics. The bible has many scriptures about what God is like. But I find that Jonah 4:2 describes how good God is!

He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity (emphasis added).

Other characteristics about God include that he is love, and a consuming fire (we are to revere him). God is holy. He is full of lovingkindness, and tender mercies. He is stern, he is just, and he is good. God has no favorites. He will never turn anyone away who comes to him through Jesus Christ. We can approach him with confidence! (1 John 4:7, Hebrews 12:28-29, Hebrews 12:14, Psalm 36:7, Luke 1:76-79, Romans 11:22, 2 Thessalonians 1:6, 1 John 1:8-10, Psalm 119:68, Romans 2:11, John 6:37, Hebrews 4:16)

God’s love endures forever! (Psalm 136)

Another thing that I learned about God’s love includes two foundational godly principals. I learned these from the church I started attending.

The two foundational principals are to love God, and love people.

The pastor used Deuteronomy 5:32-6:1-9. The context of this scripture teaches about the commands God gave to the Israelites as they went to inherit the promised land. It has great principals about teaching the believer to love God with all their heart, all their soul, and all their strength, then to teach their children these things, so that they will teach the generations after them to fear the Lord.

This scripture immediately reminded me of the conversation that the expert of the law had with Jesus in Luke 10:27-37. To love God with all one’s heart, soul, strength, and mind. And to love one’s neighbor as their self. At the end of that conversation, Jesus told the expert of the law to have mercy on his neighbor. If you read the parable you will see what I’m talking about.

Jesus had mercy on us, and it pleases God for us to have mercy on each other. (Hosea 6:6)

I hold fast to this because it really is foundational. Jesus taught in John 15 that he loved us as the Father loved him. Then he commands us to remain in his love (emphasis added).

How?

His command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Colossians 3:12-14 explains it to us this way:

Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity (emphasis added).

Forgiveness is key (Matthew 6:14-15).

 

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Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash.

Learning about loving God and others, was also reinforced into my heart by a video that I saw from Christine D’Clario, she is a well-known bilingual worshipper. She said, that if we live by loving God with all our heart, all our soul, all our strength and all our mind, and loving our neighbor as ourself, then we will remain in God’s love and be able to persevere. We will find it easier to do what pleases God because we will want to!

That leads me to the next point about God’s love and it’s something else that the pastor at my church talked about.

He stated that we all want to belong to someone, but we, as children of God, belong to God!

1 Peter 2:9 says, But you are God’s chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light (emphasis added).

As I’m in my waiting season for the future that God has for me and the special man that I’m going to marry, I realize that this is true. My guy is far away in another country, studying to get his diploma and I just graduated from college. I have plans to continue studying but as we are long distance, I realized that what the pastor said is so true. We all want to belong to someone, but we belong to the Jesus. I remember that God will never leave me nor forsake me, and that nothing can separate me from the love of God. (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:31-38)

In light of loving others, the bible tells us how to treat our family.

For instance, husbands have a role as how to treat their wives (Ephesians 5:25-33, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7),

wives have a role as how to treat their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b, Colossians 3:18, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-6).

Parents have a role as how to treat their children (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21), and children should learn from their parents how to treat them according to the Word (Ephesians 6:1-3, Colossians 3:20).

1 Timothy 5:1-3 tells every believer how to treat older men, younger men, older women, and younger women. I advise you to memorize these scriptures and store them in your heart. They’re good!

The bible also says to be wise in how you act towards outsiders. (Colossians 4:5-6) That’s especially important because people who don’t believe in the gospel yet look at how a Christian lives their lives!

During this mother’s day, I went to church and heard the Word about Timothy’s grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. They had sincere faith and passed that on to Timothy.

During the week, before that service, I told the Lord that I didn’t have that type of motherly example, and after the service, I repeated it the Lord. I said to him, “I don’t have a mother or grandmother who could have left behind a legacy of faith in my heart, but you Jesus, your Word is my example.”

So I left that day with that promise in my heart. That I will be that type of woman with a sincere faith who serves the Lord to teach my family about God’s love. You can too!

However, I am thankful to God for giving me a dad who raised me in the Word of God. His example is present and it has driven me closer to the Lord!

If you identify with my position as someone raised by a single parent, and you don’t have someone as a motherly figure, or father figure to be your example, you can be the first one in your family to start with the Lord Jesus Christ! (1 Corinthians 11:1)

So I’ve learned that it’s not my job to tell my friend, or dad, or brother how to treat me. It’s my job to obey the Word of God and let God take care of the rest. I will do my part and love my neighbor as myself.

There are just a few more scriptures I would like to share with you. They are 1 Corinthians 13. The characteristics of love and Romans 13:8-10:

I love to remember the characteristics of love and putting Jesus at the center of them, because he is love! It’s the right perspective to keep and see how God pours his love into my heart as I serve Him, so that I can serve others.

The other verse is found in Romans 13:8-10:

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” You shall not murder,” You shall not steal,” You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law (emphasis added).

Oh, and it is also good to remember what Jesus said in Matthew 5:17,

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

I cannot stress enough, to keep Jesus at the center of this. He came to fulfill the law, and we learn from his example to teach others.

Finally, after I read Ephesians 5 and 6, I realized how to bible commands in how to treat others then it tells us to be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power, because we are fighting a spiritual warfare.

Finally, Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

I know you know there’s more, please take the time to read the rest of the scripture.(Ephesians 6:10-19)

Use the Word of God to take pull down strongholds, and take thoughts captive that shouldn’t be there. (2 Corinthians 10:3-6)

Remember, the Word of God is alive and active! (Hebrews 4:12) Use it to fight your daily battles. We already have the victory through God’s grace! Our victory is in Christ because of his triumph at the cross. (Colossians 2:13-15, 1 Corinthians 15:57, 1 John 4:4, 1 John 5:4, 1 Corinthians 1:18)

 

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Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash.

So dear friends, I just wanted to share with you what I’ve learned in the Word about God’s love. Remember God’s grace, love him, and others. The good news of the gospel is that Jesus loves us and that we who believe are children of God, filled with the Holy Spirit. If we believe the good news of the gospel (John 3:16) and take that faith with us every day, the Holy Spirit pours love into our hearts by the Word of God, so we are able to love others and serve the Lord keeping eternity in mind. You have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:13)

 

Come Home and Rest

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Photos by TheFreak1337 on Pixabay.

There is a physical place where we can run in to find rest and refuge. We call that place home. It shelters us from the storms and dangers of the world outside. When we come home, we lock the door and have faith that we are safe inside. We don’t worry about robbers, fires or flooding. When we lay down, we expect that our loved ones will sleep with rest and comfort without fear that any of the above would shake us out of our home. The Bible talks about a door, a home, and a kingdom. All of which is our place of rest where we run to in Jesus Christ here on earth.

Jesus is the door that lets us into our home in the Father.

John 10:7-9 says that Jesus is the door of the sheep,

“All who ever came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.”

In verse two above, Jesus says that

“But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. “Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.”

Jesus himself is the door of the sheep, and we are his sheep. He calls us by name, but how many of us really hear his voice?

“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6)

We are like these sheep who quickly run away to the voice of a stranger and disregard the voice of our gentle shepherd who calls us home into safety. Then we wonder why we get hurt or things don’t go our way. Maybe it’s because we run away from the door of our safety. Maybe you say to yourself, but how do I know the voice of the Father? Well He’s here calling to you from the door of His home saying,

“Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” (Hebrews 3:8)

Jesus is the home we enter in to find God’s rest. The writer of Hebrews says in chapter 3:1 to consider the Apostle and the High Priest of our confession, Christ Jesus. The Apostle is the builder of our house, and the High Priest is the Head of our household. For Jesus is the one who builds our house. Our house is our very own body. For our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and He dwells in it (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Jesus holds honor in our house.

For the Bible says, “But Christ as a Son over His own house, whose house we are if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm to the end.” (Hebrews 3:6)

If you have heard God’s voice and he has given you a Word, you need to come home and rest. We must honor Jesus and let him build up our life as He knows best. Many times we may get worried that the promise is taking too long to come. Or we might try to help God with the vision He said He has for us. But our job is to rest in God’s presence by being faithful to The Builder and Head of our household. How are we faithful? We are confident to the end, rejoicing in the hope that God has given us. We take it day by day trusting in God’s faithfulness (Psalm 37:3-8).

“For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end.” (Hebrews 3:14)

“Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” (Hebrews 3:8)

Don’t be like the disobedient sheep of Israel who tested God in the wilderness. God was angry with them for their disobedience. They chose not to believe. They saw God’s Works, His Miracles; they heard His voice, and still they went astray in their hearts. Belief in God’s word is a decision that we make daily, and this is another way we show our faithfulness to the Lord.

“They have not known His Ways, so He swore in His wrath they shall not enter His rest.” (Hebrews 3:9-11)

And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest… but to those who did not obey? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief (Hebrews 3:18-19). We can see that unbelief and disobedience run hand in hand. Therefore since a promise remains of entering his rest, let us fear lest any of you seem to have come short of it (Hebrews 4:1). This rest is spoken of in a certain place of the seventh day in this way: and God rested on the seventh day from all His works. He also designates a certain day, saying in David, “Today” after such a long time, as it has been said: “Today if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.” (Hebrews 4:7)

The seventh day refers to the Sabbath. Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word Sabat which means that after God finished the creation of the world on the Seventh day, He rested. God’s energy is inexhaustible, but to say that He rested simply means He ceased working. He dropped what He was doing. (Please read Isaiah 58:13-14).

Jesus is our Sabat day, everday. We come to Jesus to rest in our souls and to drop the work that makes our minds run hundreds of miles an hour! God wants us to stop our worrying, to stop trying to make things happen, to stop trying to open our own doors, to stop trying to justify ourselves with our own works, and to stop tearing each other down, but to let His Holy Spirit build us up in the House of Christ. I repeat, we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and He dwells in us, so is Christ a Son over His own house, whose we are if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm to the end.

Therefore, we have come to the Kingdom of God, let us then seek the Kingdom of God and his righteousness first, and all these things will be added unto us (Matthew 6:33).

Hebrews 12:18-29 explains the differences between the kingdoms that the Israelites came to in the time of Moses and the Kingdom that Jesus speaks of in the gospels.  Though the Israelites came to a physical mountain, they were afraid because of God’s booming voice of judgement that made the mountain burn with fire and that darkened the sky. It filled the the air with sounds of trumpets that even made Moses tremble!

However, in verse twenty-two of chapter twelve, the Bible says we have not come to that mountain, but to Mount Zion, the City of the Living God! Mount Zion, literally translated means refuge, or fortress.

Mount Zion is not the same mountain that the Israelites came to but could not find shelter because of their disobedience and fear of God’s judgement. Rather, it is the Mountain of God’s Grace.

The Bible says that there is none righteous, not one who understands; for we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But we are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:10, 22-24). The righteousness that God offers us through Jesus gives us the assurance to enter into His rest and to rejoice in the confidence of our hope to the end. We don’t have to work where Jesus already set us free. Instead we drop what we know God is telling us to let go, and rest.

The Lord Himself says to you, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30). For I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me (John 14:6).

If you have heard God’s voice today, do not harden your hearts to the Lord. Don’t be like the foolish, unbelieving sheep who run in the opposite direction from the Door of Hope. Instead, come in and enter into His Home of Rest, find refuge in the Kindgom of God, through Jesus Christ.

Come Home and Rest.

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Photo by geralt on Pixabay.

 

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar or a theologian, I’m just a repentant sinner who has a personal relationship with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. ❤

Walking to the Beat of God’s Heart

 

It’s 2 AM and I’m laying up in bed.

 

it’s dark and all I hear is the ceiling fan whirring up above me,

along with the thoughts in my head, narrating my heart b-b-b-b-beat.

My hands crossed upon my breast,

I feel my heart b-b-b-beating against the walls of my chest

and do you know what that means?

It means that I’m still living.

It means that I’m still breathing,

and that I have a purpose.

It means that my life has meaning.

Have you ever thought about what self-esteem and dignity mean?

It means that you respect yourself, value your self.

It means that you admire who you are

as a human being.

In the past few weeks I realized that I don’t have to do

anything that I don’t want to. I’m not tied to anyone’s

opinion of who I ought to be.

Because my identity is in the cross. In whom Jesus says I am.

I ought to be loving and kind, yes.

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Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash.

 

Considerate and loving my neighbor,

but not at the expense of my self-worth.

Who likes feeling rejected or ignored?

We all want to be accepted

but

the truth is,

that the truth is a hard pill for many to swallow.

I ought to be like Jesus, who spoke the truth

in the face of his opponents who breathed out murder against him.

Jesus esteemed the opinion of his Father in heaven

and God was pleased with him,

even if

Jesus had to stand alone.

As long as I’m speaking and living the truth for the glory of His Son,

My Father in heaven looks down on me and says,

“that’s my girl!”

One thing to remember is, is that the world didn’t die for me.

My dignity and self-worth is found at the cross.

Not in any other thing or human being.

I am a fighter,

a warrior,

a survivor

a soldier

a victor.

I’ve made it through lonely days, and lonely nights. I’ve survived moments without “friends”, because we’ve all parted our separate ways. I’ve pushed past suicidal thoughts, and won the victory over depression. But every time I feel myself slipping back, God works me like a muscle:

He brings me to my limits

and breaks me down again

so that I can recover

and be made stronger.

I have to keep moving, keep walking past

the circumstances that tell me God has forgotten.

I have to keep trusting, praying and surrendering to God

because He will prove that what He said will come to pass.

As long as my heart is b-beating, and I have breath in my lungs

God has a plan for my living, something that I could never plan on my own.

I’m a warrior in Christ and I’m never going to give up.

My Wings

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Photo by Alex Wigan on Unsplash.

9:30 PM – October 8, 2015

Too old to be a child, too young to be an adult.

I sat in the middle of the bathtub, letting the water from above shower my head and my back.

I just sat there thinking… I remembered Isaiah 40:31

 

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like

eagles.

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not be faint.

Then I began to pray, I said, “God, I feel like a bird locked in a cage. Like my wings are bound and clipped. God, give me wings! I want to fly, I want to see the expanse of the earth below me. Take me to new heights. Sustain my wings with your hand. I want to fly with wings like eagles!”

Then I remembered the cave window, and the tight space I had to go through just before I was welcomed by the great expanse of the cave’s mouth.The beauty of the nature below looked like a painting as I remembered it in my mind’s eye, and I said to God, “If I had wings I would have flown out.”

Then something in my thoughts said, “no you wouldn’t. You’d be too afraid.”

And I said, “Lord, give me wings to fly because you have not given me the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.”

Then I said, “But God, I don’t want to fly alone. If you must, teach me how to fly first, but allow me to fly with my husband, with my lovebird.

My eyes were closed, and I wept as the water from above showered my bare back. I felt as if the room was spinning, but when I opened my eyes, I felt a surreal kind of peace.

I knew God heard my prayer and that he would give me wings.

Dancing with Jesus

The growing pains of a transitioning season is never easy. Especially when you have a tendency to be so hard on yourself. I constantly tell myself I need to be better, I need to try harder, I need to– let go. It’s so frustrating to think that you’re making progress but you only feel like you’re taking two steps back, a step to the side, and another one forward– and then it becomes a dance.

“What am I doing?”

Here I am dancing with the Lord.

I don’t know how to dance at all really. Rhythm is not something I inherited. I’m awkward and clumsy. You’d think that being Puerto Rican, I should know how to just feel the music.

“How do you keep time? This is so unnatural to me. I feel incompetent.

What? What am I doing?”

As the music begins to play, I freeze— I try to analyze the components of the song– but Jesus takes me in his arms and wraps one arm around my waist, taking my other hand in his and says, “Follow me.”

“Jesus I don’t know the steps! I’m so lost! Slow down! What are you doing? Help me!”

“Relax.” He says, “Trust me and follow my lead.”

I’m in tears as I feel so embarrassed for every step that crushes His toes, for messing up, not keeping the beat. I’m a clutz. I begin to whine, “Jesus, I can’t do this. I’m a failure.”

“Child, My grace is sufficient for you. Let’s keep going.”

The song continues, the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Accompanied by an orchestra of love that harmonizes with compassion, gentleness, understanding and grace. I look up at my Savior with eyes full of awe and wonder as He sweeps me off my feet. Satisfied with myself I begin to think, “hey, I’m beginning to get the hang of this!” Aware of my progress, He adds in a new move, but I’m completely thrown off again! “Whoa, God, slow down! I can’t keep up!”

“I’ve got you”, He says.

The tears start rolling as I weep into His shoulders. The sweet scent of His aroma fills my nostrils and pours into my heart as He holds me close to His. He comforts me in His embrace with every step we take. Not once does He rebuke me, but He takes the time to teach me gently. Letting me know that it’s okay. It’s okay not to know how to dance.

It’s okay to not be the best, it’s okay to be myself. It’s okay to be clumsy and make mistakes. Just as long as I keep on dancing with Him. As long as I stop trying so hard to do things by my own strength, as long as I just trust Him.

“Relax.” He says, “And let My Spirit flow through you. Confide in me and I will teach you. What you don’t know is that I’m preparing you to teach others how to dance too.”

 This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
    who draws strength from mere flesh
    and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
    they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
    in a salt land where no one lives.

 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Your Word is a Lamp Unto My Feet

 

I remember the time I went to the Cave Window back in April for spring break. I remember what it felt like to enter in that damp, dark cavern with only a small light to illuminate my feet. I could literally only see the steps in front of me. Then I had to pass through a tight, uncomfortable space before the light at the end of the tunnel flooded my eyes, and welcomed me with a warmth of wonder and surprise. I didn’t understand or know where I was going but the guide led me along the unfamiliar path. Then all of a sudden, I was there. I was staring in the face of God’s promises for my life.

 

Looking back from that experience to where I am now in life helps to give me perspective. I really don’t understand what’s going on right now in the midst of this uncertainty accompanied with the desires of my heart, and the promises of God’s breakthrough for my family. To tell you the truth, I don’t know how we’re going to get there, but I’m just trusting God.

Allow me to rewind a little bit to about a year ago.

Two days after we returned from our trip to Costa Rica, we were run out of our apartment due to an arson that set the building up in flames. We were homeless for about a month, but God faithfully provided us with this apartment. We received orders from the Lord not to furnish our home, but only to keep the essentials that we needed. We knew that we wouldn’t be here for much longer.

When we got back from Costa Rica this year, God said that it’s time for us to move. Again.

But the thing is, we’ll be moving to another apartment for a month while the new company that bought this complex is completely renovating each building. Hallelujah, because God has answered the prayers of those who desired to see this ghetto cleaned up and restored! I am really thankful to the Lord for this because it’s time this place got a new start! Our hearts however, are set on packing up to go elsewhere. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you, hehe.

My daddy calls this particular move, Abraham day. He shared with me that when he was in the drug rehabilitation ministry, that his spiritual father set days to shake out all of the brothers in the program from their comfort zones by relocating each of them to a new bed and to another room. My dad used this example to help me understand that God also sets seasons in our lives to shake us out of our comfort zones so that we don’t get too settled in one place.

But I’m here like, “God, did you really have to do it the day after we go back to school?!”

I’m not complaining though! I’m taking this part of the season in strides. I know that there is blessing in this. The benefit of it is that we will at least come back to enjoy the new apartment’s complete renovation! — Until God moves us again.

There is another reason as to why I feel the need to share with you the uncertainty of this particular season that is laying heavy on my heart, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the move, or it’s inconvenience for that matter. It actually has to do with the mystery of what’s become of my mother.

About a few months ago I wrote a Letter to Mom and I got a Reply From Mom in return.

Basically what happened to my mom is this: My mom divorced my dad when I was nine, and completely left my life when I was sixteen. She was diagnosed with a severe case of bipolarism, schizophrenia and paranoia after she had a miscarriage of twins. What I can remember from my mom before then was that she was a strong godly woman but that she later turned her back on the Lord. God used her powerfully as a prophetess. When the Lord spoke to her and revealed things to her about the hidden sins of others, she spoke with words of authority and judgment to the unrepentant sinners, and what the Holy Spirit predicted through her always came to pass. She was a prayer warrior, and an avid faster. She was also a good mother, like a lioness, always ready to protect her babies. She was strong, and fierce but she had one weakness: She had a track record of unfaithfulness to the Lord. She would get right with God and then backslide to the ways of the world on a pursuit of her own will, not God’s. Each and every time she left God’s side, she dug her own holes deeper into sins unimaginable for a child of God, and they swallowed her like quicksand.

It’s not to say that God can’t heal her, because He most certainly can. There is undeniable power in the name of Jesus. But He gives everyone free will and she chose to harden her heart to the One who paid the price of her sins at the cross. That’s why it saddened me to find out a few days after returning from Costa Rica this year that my mom disappeared. According to her living-mate, she came home one night completely belligerent and indecently dressed. She was saying that “God told her” to get off of her meds and find her kids with a man that she was having an affair with, a so called, Vincent Gambini (a dead mafioso). She quit her job, bought a random car and went on a lone road trip. Last we heard, the high way patrol found her broken down car abandoned on the side of the highway. Where is she? Only God knows…. We’ve been waiting for information as we’ve also contacted the police; but here we are with our hands tied. Waiting. What could have become of my mom?

I had a dream about her three nights ago. In the dream she called me, and I asked her where she was and if she was okay? But she hung up. I shared this dream with my dad, and by no coincidence he had the same dream that same night too. What could that mean? Could God be preparing our hearts for something?…

I told God and frequently tell him again and again, “Lord, I know you promised me lots of things concerning my mom. You promised me her restoration, and that you would heal her and use her again to testify about the dangers of walking away from you. But you know what’s best, God. I won’t be mad at you if what you promised doesn’t come to pass because I know that it is impossible for you to lie (Hebrews 6:18). Just give my mom peace from this torment that she’s living. Only you know if she will ever live with a repentant heart. If not, give her the opportunity to repent in the face of death, and take her home with you. My only request to you Lord is that my mom not die in her sins. Jesus, have mercy on her soul…”

These words are on my heart everyday that the mystery of my mom is kept sealed. I just pray for the light of knowing what’s happened to her. To accept something. To know that she’s ok. To move on. This is really hard for me to process, because I was always holding on to the hope of being reunited to the woman of God I remember her to be. I pray for her well being though. Whether here on earth, but more so for her eternity. If I can’t have her back now, then I hope to see her again in heaven.

So here I am walking through the temporary season of this dark cave. With boxes cluttering my room, filled with the reminder of Abraham day. But more so with the hopes of God’s promises for my family and my life. I hold fast to what the Word of God promises me in places like Jeremiah 29:11 and Isaiah 55:8-9. I’ve decided not to let my heart be troubled and not to be afraid because Jesus is here to take me by the hand and lead me to the flood of light that I once saw at the end of the way– that day I went into the cave.

One Day At A Time

 

I’m back in the comfort of my own bed under the roof of my father’s house in the United States. I think back to just how last week I woke up to the fresh mountain air where the loud voices of chatter and laughter meant a warm welcome to a new day; and here I am in the solitary coolness of my room thinking about the memories that will never fade. I still remember the last two sermons my daddy gave before we returned back to the states from the home where our hearts dwell. Last year daddy preached, “right now you don’t understand what I’m doing, but later on you will.” and this last time around God spoke through his sermon saying, “you will see greater things than these to come.”

 

My heart is at peace knowing that God is in full control. I feel safe in the knowledge of His wisdom as He fits all the pieces of my family’s life and my own together. My understanding is limited but He sees farther than I could ever know. As I lay in bed thinking about the past few months of my life, my gratitude to the Lord overflows with joy for the life that’s given to me. I’m thankful for my victory in Jesus Christ over depression, and for strengthening my heart as I waited on Him.  I’m so thankful for the love He gives me in his Son everyday as He consistently proves His faithfulness to me day by day by, in the smallest ways. He stills my soul by even quieting the smallest worries of my heart. No detail is too great or too small for Him to overcome by riding in on His mighty cloud of Glory and shedding light to the darkness of my uncertainties. He gives me peace when I turn to Him with all of the concerns of my heart. He romances me, He woes me. I’m pacified.

I lay here meditating about the miracles I’ve witnessed and the power of the Holy Spirit that overtakes a room full of people in the middle of worship and praise. I think about how biblically, everything that my family and I participate in aligns to the truth and the life of Jesus Christ. The commission that He gave to His disciples before He disappeared into the clouds to sit at the right hand side of the Father is what He commanded all Christians to do. To go into all the nations and to preach the good news of His life for ours, to go out and heal the sick, cast out demons and prepare the church, His bride for His return; all done in His Holy name! Then this makes me think about the events around the world, and how unrealistically fast the time is flying by. It’s like a frantic race for time as evil continues to rise. The earth is covered in blood, violence and hate, but God is also at work revealing many wonders and signs in heaven and among His people. Calling us to repentance and telling us to get ready, telling us to prepare for the trumpet’s call to go home! Oh how I desire to be caught up in the rapture and sing in my soul, “death where is your sting!? My body is finally glorified with my King of kings!”….

And so, I lay here thinking about all the work that needs to be done and how deeply our hearts desire to be freed from the borders of these corrupted states. We’re ready to go back and answer the calling over our lives in Central and South America and to share our lives with the family we’ve grown so close to in love every time we meet in Costa Rica. But peace is mine and thankfulness fills me as I think about all the love and care that God has poured into me and my family of two. I know deep in my spirit that we won’t be here for much longer. Something is stirring in our lives and I perceive the hand of God in our midst. Our time is coming and I’m expectantly waiting, walking out this journey day by day, to see greater things than what I’ve already seen.

When God Keeps His Promises

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On a late November night, last year, the Holy Spirit woke me up to tell me three things that I didn’t know God had planned for me. I want to share two of these three things with you as a testimony of how the Lord keeps His promises.

When the Holy Spirit asked me if I knew I was going to be a part of the choir and that they already had a robe prepared for me, I didn’t know what to say. It was a sudden advisory, but I knew in my heart that this was a wonderful promise that God planned for me. I also knew in my heart that it would probably come to pass in Costa Rica because this is where God has been directing the ministry of my family. Then I wondered who and where would supply my robe because they don’t have my measurements. I didn’t worry to much about it though because those were just minor details that I knew God had already figured out. If He decided to share that mystery with me, all I needed to do was wait for those promises to become alive.

After we arrived in Costa Rica, in June of last month, I was watching the praise and worship team’s rehearsal service. The Pastor’s wife noticed me off to the side and made a comment, then I replied saying, “I’d love to be up there with them…” She said, “Why don’t you talk to Pastor Kenneth to see if you can sing with them.” I took the suggestion to my dad and he shared with me that Pastor Fernando (the main pastor in charge of Worship) had other plans for me. So we spoke with him and he said he was going to gather some people together for the choir and that I could be a part of it if I wanted. My eyes twinkled as I excitedly remembered God’s promise and I began to wonder to myself if this could really be it?? Regardless, I showed up to the first choir rehearsal that Saturday.

We rehearsed every Saturday after that to prepare for the revival the church was going to have in Sucre, Costa Rica during the second week of July. Pastor Fernando found some white robes that were used for last year’s baptisms, and he also found some red sashes to hang over our shoulders for the event. The nine of us each found our own sizes, and nothing needed to be tailored. Thank God, because we were all men and women of various frames!

I’m so happy to say that when the day arrived, we all looked so elegant in our uniforms! I still remember putting my robe on for the first time and helping the other sisters in the restroom get ready. Then when the Pastor gathered all of us together for prayer it began to officially sink in that I was living out one of God’s promises for my life. Then the moment came when we stepped up onto the alter; I wasn’t nervous at all, but I felt prepared. My joy overflowed as I began to worship with the choir, and we all sang beautifully for God’s glory!

Sucre is an active site where a lot of witchcraft is practiced, but the glory of God fell down in that place as the whole church worshiped the King of kings in Spirit and in truth! As we began to lift up our hearts and voices in unison to our Lord Jesus, many people began to pour in from the streets as we sang together. There were many miracles in that place as people gave their hearts to Jesus, others were healed of addiction, and everyone was caught up in the presence of God! The only word that I can use to describe the experience is beautiful…

So on July 11, 2015 God kept His promise when He told me that I was going to be in the choir, and that He already had a robe prepared for me. I’m humbled and grateful to Jesus Christ by the way He’s abundantly blessed me so far, and to be able to share the blessings of my life with my brothers and sisters in Christ is a blessing in itself.

This experience has taught me that we all work together to use our talents to bring glory and honor to the One who only deserves it: Jesus. And that God ALWAYS keeps His promises, no matter how big or little they may seem. I thank you Jesus for your great love, and for this beautiful life that you’re giving me. My life is but a vapor before you, and my years are as nothing in your eyes. My future is in your hands, as you have my days counted. I thank you Lord for pouring out your grace over me, and I ask you to fill me with contentment as I continue to seek your face. Your love is all I need Lord; may my life be a living and pleasing worship to you for as long as I live. I love you Jesus!

The Little Ant

 

 

I like to watch the ants work. They’re so busy and preoccupied with their work that they don’t notice this giant human looking down on them. They’re so busy cutting up leaves, trying to haul them along on their little backs to their little colony. They’re just trying to save up and provide for their little antly needs. My existence and my life is so irrelevant to them; they just keep on working.

Many times we are like the ants too. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of our lives that we don’t realize our Heavenly Father waiting for us to look up at Him. He’s waiting for us to enjoy His existence and His life by seeking Him and His Kingdom first. He is the Provider of everything we need. How much more will our Father give us when we ask Him, if He so freely provides the ants with what they need?

Or do we not realize that this world and everything in it is passing away? One day Jesus will come back for His church, His bride; and if we are so preoccupied with this world we will miss our Groom’s return which is so near! It will happen in the blink of an eye! One second we’re here, the next we’ll meet our Redeemer in the sky! Everyone on this earth who isn’t ready will stay behind. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to miss my own wedding with Jesus Christ!

I don’t want to be like the ants, who work so hard for a provision that only fills my belly for a moment; a provision that only clothes and shelters my body with materials that can be lost, stolen or broken. I want to store up my treasures for eternity, to live and share my life with my Groom, my Jesus! I want to meet Him face to face, and live with Him under the covering of His love for ever and ever!

What about you? Are you ready for the rapture? Or are you an ant who is meaninglessly toiling their life away? It is good to work, but don’t forget to whom your life belongs.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar or a theologian. I’m just a repentant sinner who has a personal relationship with her Lord, Jesus Christ.